Saturday, 17-March-2012
I began spotting on d14 (15-Mar) .. streaks of red, brownish stains. Today is d16 and I told Vince to help me buy a pregnancy test kit. I was still hoping that brownish stain might be an implantation stain.
Benghua was picking me up at 4:30pm to Irene's housewarming. I felt really bloated and uneasy. So before leaving home, I checked again and confirmed my MC "has arrived". I cannot help feeling disappointed even though I know we can continue our current lifestyle if we don't have a 2nd baby but I cannot help feeling sorry because kyros will be without siblings. Vince said God must have his plans and reasons for not blessing us with the baby we so longed for. When he closed one door, he will open another for us.
We've discussed during the start of my 2WW and we decided that enough is enough. If I fail this SO-IUI, we will not attempt another fertility treatment again. Vince agreed I've tried my best. We will not have any regrets later on in life. I rang my mother-in-law and told her about it. She's resigned to this and said too that it is just not fated to be. She asked how much I've spent since I started trying to conceive. wooo .. Dr WK Tan @TMC is just as expensive as Dr Loh. So is Dr Soon. I've also lost count of the amount I've spent on TCM. $20K maybe? My IVF & SO-IUI (inclusive of the approx $4.5K via Medisave) already came up to ~$12K. And I remembered paying between $200-$300 for some trips to Dr WK Tan, and my bill for one of the x-rays was nearly $500. Incredulous. Now, this is a good reason why my savings account has dried up.
So, good bye my Kate. Looks like I'm not fated to have you afterall. After so many years, I'm really saying good bye to you and start living life from now on.
3 comments:
hi - i came across your blog while doing some research about SO-IUI. I am about to start on it myself this coming cycle. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and I'm sorry it wasn't successful for you. I'm inspired by your bravery to say "goodbye" and accepting the fact that it wasn't successful. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet - to hear that it's not successful - but your blog is helping. Thanks again.
Hi ~
Oh yes it takes alot of determination to decide that enough is enough. 2 of my cousins are pregnant and one of them delivering right this moment. While I might feel a part of me questioning my decision at times, i know my son is not going to be lonely because there will be tons of cousins for companies. The success rate for SO-IUI is low but I read that it actually increases significantly after the 6th cycle. There are alot of girls out there who has succeeded with SO-IUI. Have faith. Don't give up hope. Pray. Live well. Be happy. They all adds up. All the best to you. Cheers
Hi all! I am also starting IUI! Alittle worried about the med and injections! Shall we start a support group? PM me prettyindress@gmail.com
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